


let the music tell the story

by James_Spencer



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-15
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-18 18:12:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13687086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/James_Spencer/pseuds/James_Spencer
Summary: An exploration of JJ and Emily's relationship through music. Multichapter songfic





	1. But at least I've got you in my head

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all! So this is the first fic I've published in over three years and I'm really excited for you to read it. I do hope you enjoy, and as always, let me know what you think if you feel like it! The song used in this chapter is Sleepover by Hayley Kiyoko.

_I don’t wanna talk about it_  
_I don’t wanna think about it_  
_I’m just feeling low, feeling low_  
_Even when you’re next to me_  
_It’s not the way I’m picturing_  
_I’m just feeling low, feeling low_  
_You wanna be friends forever?_  
_I can think of something better_  
_I’m just feeling low, feeling low_  
_Sleeping here right next to me_  
_But will you ever mess with me? No_

“You’re such a good friend Em,” JJ said as she smiled at the brunette. “Thank you for letting me stay here tonight.”

 

After wrapping up a particularly trying case, neither JJ nor Emily really wanted to be alone. So that’s how Emily found herself in her queen sized bed with the blonde laying opposite her. After a couple of glasses of wine, JJ announced that she was tired and made her way into the bedroom, Emily not far behind.

 

“You know you’re more than welcome to stay here whenever you need Jayje,” Emily responded before turning over and flicking off the light. “Get some rest okay? Hotch wants us in at 8:30.”

 

“Wow, he’s either going soft or Haley’s getting on his ass again for the long hours. Usually it’s 7 or earlier.”

 

“Yeah, I think this case kinda got to him, well, all of us actually. It was rough,” Emily replied solemnly, letting out a sigh as she stretched before pulling the comforter up to her chest.

 

JJ turned over to lie on her stomach. “Yeah it was. Thanks again for letting me stay.”

 

“Anytime JJ,” Emily whispered.

 

Within five minutes, JJ was out like a light. Emily listened to her breathing even out and smiled. Even her snores were adorable. It was almost painful, really. She had a beautiful, intelligent, caring woman within arm’s reach and she couldn’t do anything about it. Emily knew that when she woke up, JJ would be tucked into Emily’s arm, with her head resting on her shoulder and her arm tossed over Emily’s stomach. It wasn’t anything new. Every time JJ stayed over, it happened, and every time it happened, it broke Emily’s heart a little more.

 

She wished she could just pull her closer, wrap her in her arms and never let go. But _friends_ don’t do that, at least not any of her friends. JJ was the closest thing to a best friend that Emily ever had, and the last thing she wanted to do was to ruin it because of some silly little crush. Oh, but how amazing it would be if somehow, someway, JJ could reciprocate those feelings. Emily smiled at the thought of waking up to a kiss from the adorable blonde sleeping next to her. But she knew that her luck would never be in her favor, especially when it comes to JJ. So for now, Emily was content just sharing a bed with her. She just hoped she’d wake up first and enjoy having JJ in her arms, even for just a few minutes.

_But at least I got you in my head, oh yeah_  
_At least I got you in my head, in my head_  
_Sleepovers in my bed, oh yeah_  
_At least I got you in my head, in my head_  
_In my head_  
_In my head_

Before her eyes even opened, JJ felt the protective arm wrapped around her. She smiled softly, reveling in the warmth that Emily’s body provided her. It always happened like this. Sometime throughout the night, JJ would find herself cuddled up to the brunette, and like clockwork, Emily’s arm would make its way around JJ’s back, pulling her closer. JJ would be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy it. She loved the feeling of safety that Emily’s arms provided her. Honestly though, it wasn’t just her arms. Every part of Emily made JJ feel safe. She made her feel loved.

 

It was that thought that pushed JJ to slowly move away from the sleeping brunette. Carefully, she moved Emily’s arm off of her shoulder and rolled over to her side of the bed. She glanced at the clock and rolled her eyes.

 

“Fucking 5:16am,” she sighed, wishing she had just stayed where she was. She didn’t want to chance waking Emily up so she carefully got out of bed, grabbed her go bag, and made her way to the bathroom.

 

She quickly undressed and hopped in the shower before it had time to warm up. She gasped at the feeling of the cold water hitting her skin. _Yep, I’m definitely fucking awake after that_ , she thought to herself. As she let the water warm up, thoughts of Emily pierced her mind again, as if they ever actually left. At first JJ brushed it off as just adoration for the older woman. It wasn’t until they started hanging out and getting to know each other that she realized there may be something else there, at least on her end.

 

At first it was the way she would smile when she’d see Emily walk into a room. It didn’t matter if she was knees deep in paperwork that all had to be done in an hour. As soon as Emily walked in, a grin would magically appear on her face. Then she realized the way she’d react to Emily’s touches. Just a slight tap on her shoulder or a pat to the knee would make her skin feel like it was on fire, but in a good way. The first time she woke up cuddling Emily, JJ felt like she was going to spontaneously combust, but that may have been partially due to the embarrassment she felt during the situation.

 

It was hard for JJ to first admit that she may have a crush on the older woman. Why? Out of all people, why did it have to be her gorgeous, straight, female coworker of all people? She knew she didn’t have a chance with her but it happened anyways. _Well that’s the shitty thing about emotions, I guess._ “You don’t really get to choose when they happen,” she thought out loud. She quickly finished her shower, put her clothes on, and walked out of the bathroom. She glanced at the bed and smiled at Emily who was still softly snoring away. It hurt sometimes, feeling those things for her, but JJ thought she could handle it.

 

_Always there to brush your hair_  
_Help you pick out what to wear_  
_I just feel alone, feel alone_  
_You will never understand_  
_Even when you hold my hand_  
_I just feel alone, feel alone_  
_I don’t wanna talk about it_  
_I don’t wanna think about it_  
_I just feel alone, feel alone_  
_Even when you’re next to me_  
_It’s not the way I’m picturing, no_  
_But at least I got you in my head, oh yeah_  
_At least I got you in my head, in my head_  
_Sleepovers in my bed, oh yeah_  
_At least I got you in my head, in my head_  
_In my head_  
_In my head_

Emily woke up to a loud alarm and a cold bed. She didn’t know which one upset her more. Quickly, she turned her alarm off and slowly sat up in bed, stretching her arms and legs as she did so. She stood up and grabbed her phone and made her way from the bedroom to the kitchen.

 

The sight before her made her grin furiously. JJ was wearing Emily’s red apron, which was covered in what looked like pancake batter, dancing around the kitchen as she attempted to prepare breakfast. She was so immersed in what she was doing that she didn’t notice Emily standing in the doorway. But when Emily took another step into the kitchen, JJ noticed out of the corner of her eye and quickly stopped moving.

 

“Morning,” JJ mumbled, obviously embarrassed. “I hope you don’t mind. I’ve been up for a while and I got hungry and I figured you’d be too so I just raided your cabinets.”

 

Emily chuckled. “Yeah and did any of the food actually get cooked or did it end up on my apron?” JJ tilted her head towards Emily, attempting (and failing) at a menacing glare. Emily just laughed even more. “Or on your face?”

 

“What?” JJ asked, confused. Emily walked closer until they were eye to eye. Emily slowly raised a hand to JJ’s face and wiped the small blob of pancake batter off of her cheek. JJ blushed and smiled warmly. “Thank you.” She could tell that her cheeks were red, and not from embarrassment either.

 

“Looks like you have some over here too,” Emily pointed to the other side of her face. When Emily’s hand found her cheek this time, JJ found herself leaning into the warm hand, an action that didn’t go unnoticed by Emily. She wiped the batter off of her cheek without her hand ever completely leaving the spot. After not moving for a moment, Emily started to softly run her thumb over JJ’s cheekbone. Her skin was so soft, so warm, and Emily thought that she’d be content doing this forever.

 

JJ was just as content. She looked up at Emily and mirrored her action, placing her hand on Emily’s face. With her free hand, she pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and used that as an excuse to wrap her arm around Emily’s shoulder and pull her slightly closer. She moved her hand from Emily’s face and interlocked it with her other behind Emily’s shoulder.

 

Emily moved her free hand to grasp JJ’s waist and pull her closer. JJ gasped audibly when she felt her body touch Emily’s. Emily’s glance went from JJ’s eyes to her lips and that was all it took for JJ to press her lips firmly against the brunette’s. JJ’s hands moved to Emily’s hair as the kiss quickly intensified. Emily’s grip on JJ’s waist got tighter as JJ sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and nibbled on it lightly. Emily took a step forward, pushing JJ back into the counter. Their lips unlocked for a split second for air before Emily moved to JJ’s neck. She peppered small kisses throughout her neck. She placed a kiss in the bend between JJ’s shoulder and neck which caused the blonde to whimper slightly. Emily smirked and began to softly lick at the spot before biting down softly, eliciting a quiet moan from JJ. It was when Emily’s hands started traveling upwards that their phones went off simultaneously, causing them both to jump away from each other.

_Come on, let’s sleep in my bed_  
_Can I just be in my head with you?_  
_Come on, let’s sleep in my bed_  
_Can I just be in my head with you?_  
_And it breaks my heart, yeah it breaks my heart_  
_I do this every single time, every time…_  
_But at least I got you in my head, oh yeah_  
_At least I got you in my head, in my head_  
_Sleepovers in my bed, oh yeah_  
_At least I got you in my head, in my head_

Neither woman spoke to the other on their way to the BAU. JJ was still trying to process what had just transpired, while Emily was scared into silence. She didn’t dare say anything, afraid of what JJ would say back. When they arrived at the office, Hotch met them at the door. Louisville Metro PD had asked for their assistance on a case. Within 20 minutes, they were on the plane heading to Kentucky. Emily took her usual window seat while JJ opted for the couch instead of her usual seat next to Emily.

 

Aside from sharing details about the case, neither woman spoke to each other for the duration of their trip. Emily was convinced that she had freaked JJ out with the kiss. _Damn it,_ she thought to herself. _That was fucking stupid and you know it._

 

It wasn’t until after they got back to DC that one of them broke the silence. Hotch was in his office finishing up paperwork when JJ walked out of her office to see Emily sitting at her desk. Everyone else had already left for the night and JJ was planning on following suit. Instead of walking to the doors, she found herself in front of Emily’s desk, looking down at the brunette.

 

JJ waited for Emily to look up before she spoke. “Do we need to talk?”

 

Emily sighed and shrugged. “There’s nothing to talk about JJ. It shouldn’t have happened and it won’t again. I just got kind of caught up in the moment and we kissed. No big deal,” she lied. It was a big deal, a huge deal to Emily.

 

JJ took a step back and looked at the brunette dejectedly. “Oh…okay then,” she stuttered. Emily obviously wasn’t okay with what happened. “I don’t want this to change anything,” JJ admitted nervously.

 

Emily chuckled. “I don’t either Jayje. Its okay, I’m okay, and we’re okay. I promise,” she lied again. She wasn’t okay. She couldn’t get the feeling of JJ’s lips out of her mind. She couldn’t stop thinking about how perfectly JJ fit into her arms. What she wouldn’t give to just have one repeat of that kiss.

 

JJ nodded. “Okay then.” She stood awkwardly in front of Emily for a moment before breaking the silence. “Well I’m gonna get on home. You gonna be here much longer?”

 

“I’m just finishing up this last bit of paperwork and then I’m gonna head home.”

 

“Okay, well,” JJ paused. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.” Emily bid her goodnight and JJ turned and walked out of the office not knowing whether she was more hurt or confused. If Emily didn’t want her, why did she let the kiss go on for so long?

 

Meanwhile, Emily was having an internal crisis of her own. Now that she knew what it was like to kiss JJ, to have her in her arms, she didn’t think she’d ever be the same as before. But she wasn’t going to lose JJ over some stupid crush. It would probably hurt her for a while, but having JJ as a friend was better than nothing at all. She just didn’t know if it would be enough for her.


	2. no chance, no way, i won't say it, no, no

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back again with chapter 2! Sorry it's relatively short, but you get the point. The song used is I Won't Say (I'm in Love) from Disney's Hercules

_If there's a prize for rotten judgment,_

_I guess I've already won that_

_No man is worth the aggravation_

_That's ancient history, been there, done that_

_Who d'you think you're kidding_

_He's the earth and heaven to you_

_Try to keep it hidden,_

_Honey we can see right through you_

“Penelope Garcia, I swear to god if you say anything to anyone, I will personally kill you myself and make it look like a fucking accident,” Emily swore angrily at her bubbly blonde coworker.

 

Garcia couldn’t keep the grin off of her face. “Emily I swear on my life I will not say a word.” Emily knew she was lying. Hell, Penelope knew she was lying. She knew that the moment Emily walked out of her office, she’d be calling her Chocolate Thunder and sharing all of the juicy details. It would never go any further than that. For that, Emily was at least slightly thankful.

 

“How did you know?” Emily asked curiously, the slight hint of anger now gone from her voice.

 

Penelope smirked. “As if you really need to ask the Goddess of All Knowing Wisdom such a silly question. I may not be a profiler, but I have my ways of reading people. And you, Emily Elizabeth Prentiss, are like an open book. Even Derek knows, which is why you and I both know that the moment you walk out of this room, my deliciously sculpted chocolate thunder will be scurrying his finely toned behind in here to hear all of the news.”

 

Emily huffed and shrugged. “So the threat was pretty much unnecessary at this point,” she muttered to herself.

 

“Unnecessary and time consuming,” Garcia replied. “Now come on, when did this little crush on our beautiful blonde liaison start?”

 

_Girl you can't conceal it_

_We know how you're feeling_

_Who you thinking of_

_No chance no way I won't say it, no no_

_(You swoon you sigh why deny it oh oh)_

_It's too cliché I won't say I'm in love_

“And somewhere along the line, I realized that my feelings aren’t just friendly,” Emily lamented. “It doesn’t matter though, and you know it. JJ is straight and as far as she knows, and will continue to know,” she added threateningly, “I am too, and that’s all that matters.”

 

“You talk about her like she’s more than a crush,” Penelope declared. Emily wouldn’t look up at her. “Oh…oh my god,” she exclaimed.

 

“Don’t even say it, Garcia,” Emily urged. “It’s not that serious.”

 

“Yet!” she bellowed. “But don’t even try and deny that you have more than just crush-worthy feelings for our JJ. You love her!”

 

“No I do not!” Emily declared, even though there was doubt in the back of her mind.

 

Garcia simply grinned. “Okay, fine, you don’t love her, you keep telling yourself that.”

 

Emily rolled her eyes before standing up. “Enough of this tonight Garcia. I’m tired, it’s been a long day, and I just want to go home.” She turned on her heel and bid Penelope goodnight before heading out the door and out of the office until tomorrow.

 

Her thoughts didn’t stop racing throughout the rest of the night. As much as she tried, she couldn’t get Garcia’s words out of her head. _You talk about her like she’s more than a crush._ At first, Emily vehemently denied the accusation. But it wasn’t long before Emily realized that maybe, just maybe, Penelope Garcia was all-knowing. She wasn’t ready to admit it to herself, much less anyone else though, but she knew that somewhere along the line, her feelings for Jennifer Jareau were becoming stronger with each passing day.

_I thought my heart had learned its lesson_

_It feels so good when you start out_

_My head is screaming "Get a grip girl_

_Unless you're dying to cry your heart out_

_Girl you can't deny it_

_Who you are is how you're feeling_

_Baby we're not buying_

_Hon we saw you hit the ceiling_

_Face it like a grown-up_

_When you gonna own up that you got got got it bad_

The next day, Emily arrived at the bureau earlier than usual. She had intended on using the quiet time to get caught up on her paperwork from the last case. She groaned quietly when she walked in the doors to see Derek sitting at his desk. As he looked up, a huge grin made its way on his face and Emily knew that there was no way out of this.

 

“Hey Princess,” he said cockily. “How was your night?”

 

Emily shrugged. “Short. I went home, showered, and went to bed. Yours?”

 

“Mine was great. Had one of my new friends keep me company last night. Did you have any company over last night?” He asked suggestively.

 

Emily rolled her eyes. _Here we go,_ she thought to herself. “Nope, it was just me all night.” Derek silently stared at her and she knew that he was profiling her. “Okay stop profiling me,” she snapped. “I know Garcia talked to you. No, JJ was not with me last night. No I am not in love with JJ. Just because we kissed doesn’t mean-“ she stopped suddenly as the shit-eating grin slowly appeared on Derek’s face. “Fuck,” she cursed. “If you value your life you will never repeat that, to me or anyone else.”

 

Derek just continued to smile. “Whatever you say Prentiss. Just know that if you do end up wanting to talk, I’m here.” Emily nodded, still scowling at the man. “I mean it. Being in love is hard as it is. Why don’t you just talk to her?”

 

“I’m not in love with her, Derek. And I’m not talking about this with you or her,” she snapped. “Just let it go, please?”

 

Derek just nodded silently before turning back towards his desk. He knew he shouldn’t push Emily too much, not this soon. But he also knew that even though she could compartmentalize extremely well, she would break sooner or later.

_No chance no way I won't say it, no no_

_(Give up, give in, check the grin you're in love)_

_This scene won't play I won't say I'm in love_

_(We'll do it until you admit you're in love)_

_You're way off base I won't say it_

_Get off my case I won't say it_

_(Girl don't be proud it's okay you're in love)_

_At least out loud I won't say I'm in love_

Emily hated going home alone. She kept saying she was going to get a cat, but she never actually made it to the shelter to choose one. She also didn’t want to leave the cat alone when she was called off on a case. But she needed something to keep her company or else she was going to drive herself insane.

 

She briefly thought about calling Penelope and seeing if she wanted to come hang out. That idea quickly escaped her mind after recalling the conversation she’d had with the quirky blonde nerd a few days prior. She knew that if Penelope did indeed come over, the conversation would shift to JJ one way or another, and that was something Emily was desperately trying to avoid talking, or thinking about.

 

But, as usual, she couldn’t keep the gorgeous blonde out of her head. After their kiss, her thoughts continued to intensify. She wanted so badly to just have a repeat of that night, just one more kiss. But she knew that no matter how bad she wanted it, she couldn’t have it, and that sucked. She didn’t want to ruin one of the best friendships she’s ever had over some silly crush.

 

 _Would a silly crush take over every waking thought of mine?_ Emily thought to herself. She was bordering on dangerous territory right now. She didn’t want to admit what her friends already thought to be true. But the more she thought about it, the more right they seemed. She’s had crushes on people before and none of those people ever took over her mind the way that Jennifer Jareau seemed to be doing to her. It scared her, no, terrified her. What would JJ think about her supposed best friend falling in love with her?

 

“Fuck,” Emily cursed to herself. “What if I am falling in love with her?”

 

It was at that moment that she knew this needed to end. She didn’t know how it was going to work, but she couldn’t keep doing this to herself or JJ. It wasn’t fair to either of them. She was going to get over Jennifer Jareau, she just didn’t know when, or where, or how.

_  
_


End file.
